Back in the Saddle!

My classes start today!  I don’t have to be down to Nelsonville until 1 PM, but I’m really excited to get back in class.  Being busy and in class helps me forget things I shouldn’t dwell on, like my divorce and Richie’s upcoming deployment.

I am super-nervous about the Stocks class.  I’m terrified I won’t measure up and will end up with a shitty end-product.  The straight culinary side is extremely intimidating for me.  I feel like it’s one thing to cook at home and put a beautiful meal on the table but it’s something else entirely to be creating something that someone will potentially pay for.  I feel as though I’m just pretending at all of this here and that eventually I’ll be back to a normal job doing normal things.

I’ve talked to my Life Coach about all of this, and what it boils down to is me being too hard on myself.  I’m afraid of failing because that’s what I expect to happen since I don’t have experience with this stuff.  Because my entire life has been made up of the easy route for most of my job, school, and even personal life, I find it terrifying to step outside my comfort zone.  The people I know in culinary seem so much more self-assured than I am, and I’m afraid of the criticism they’ll mete out, so I try to be more critical than necessary of myself in order to head it off and possibly make it less painful.

Today, I have Candies and Confections followed by Stocks, Sauces, and Soups.  I’m excited but nervous, so I’ll let you all know how it goes later on in the week.  We probably won’t do any actual cooking today, but this first, leisurely week is kind of nice!

Also, I’m thinking of dying my hair something new.  Right now, it’s brown with blonde streaks.  I can’t do anything outrageous like hot pink because of my job with my uncle.  Any suggestions?  Leave a comment or e-mail me at caseyw80 at gmail dot com!


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